Have you ever been in the middle of a presentation and realized that you can’t breathe? It can be a scary moment. Here are some ideas to help you.

Often the feeling of not being able to breathe comes from anxiety. When you are practicing your presentation or pitch (you are practicing before you do it, right?) take a deep breath before you start speaking and let the air out slowly. Very slowly. Actually, slower than that. Here’s why it works: you have to come back into your body in order to control your breath. That’s a good thing because, not only does it help relax you, but it also keeps the mind focused. You can’t control breathing and freak out at the same time. The other benefit is that, when you do that deep breath and slow release, then begin practicing, your body will remember being relaxed and it will lessen your anxiety when you are actually presenting.

It’s simple, it’s easy, and it’s free. The only thing you need to do is remember to use it. Breathe in deeply, let the air out slowly, let your shoulders drop, and share what you know. It will make you more efficient and, more importantly, it will make you more effective.

I have the pleasure of working with a lot of very smart people; people who have created multi-billion dollar companies from nothing; have risen up the food chain to the very top; people with great insight and technical knowledge. I always learn from them. I love that part.

The part that makes me cringe is when an executive says we’ll say this and that and then ‘hope they get it’. Whaaaat? You’ve just spent dozens of person hours on preparing a speech or presentation that likely has a high stakes outcome for you (or you wouldn’t be doing this at all) and after all that money and effort you are going to hope they get the message? Unacceptable, people.

Research shows us that people only remember 10% of what they hear once and that they are distracted and forgetful 25% of the time. That means you are down 35% before you open your mouth. Now is not the time to hope it all turns out the way you’d like it. Now is the time to have a focused and emotionally targeted message that will take you to the outcome you desire (funding, investment, sharing a vision, getting another meeting). Then, be sure you share your message more than once.

It’s not about hoping they get it. It’s about making sure they can’t ignore it.

Happy presenting everyone.

When you are delivering news and/or information to an audience that may not like what you are saying, you must meet people where they are or you will lose that audience and your ability to influence them.

Let’s say you are introducing a new process to a team. You have reviewed all the options and made a sound decision. Your next task is to think about how this decision will be received. What if the people who will execute on that decision feel they are already overburdened? People don’t like change and employees who already feel frenzied will push back.

Your first key message must recognize what they are currently doing well. Then, acknowledge that change can be difficult and meet them where they are in that anxiety/reluctance/anger (everyone will have a different level of emotion).

Bad: We’ve decided to make changes in the way we are processing quarterly reports in order to streamline the process and make it easier for clients to access. A new software package has been purchased and you’ll have a training schedule soon.

Good: After listening to comments from you and our clients, we are making changes to how quarterly reports are processed. You have done a great job with them and (not but) now it’s time to streamline the process to make it easier on everyone. In order to do that, we will need new software. We know you have a lot on your desks and this will mean extra effort to learn the software. We have made arrangements to delay deadlines (or share workloads, etc) in order to make it easier for all of you to learn the new system. Our goal is to ultimately save you time and also make it easier for clients to access their information.

See the difference? Meet them where they are — “I don’t have time for this”; “are they crazy?”; “when am I supposed to learn all this and get my regular work done?”; “I hate learning new stuff on the computer-I’m so awful at it”. Then acknowledge where they are and make the outcome something that supports employees as well as clients and your bottom line.

Letting them know you’ve thought about them makes all the difference to ‘buy-in’. That’s how you Communicate with Influence.

Conservative leadership candidate and MP Kellie Leitch has created quite an uproar on social media over her latest video. The problem is the video is being ridiculed by just about everyone who sees it. That’s not the reason you make a video. That’s bad! No matter what she says now, that video will be in the way. It’s turned out to be a big waste of money, time, and political and social capital.

I’m not taking a position on her politically. I want you to see what bad coaching can do. The camera angles are bizarre: what is she looking at when she gazes off to the side of the room? Why does she pause in the middle of a sentence just for the fun of it? She is speaking too slowly, she isn’t speaking directly to her audience (“one would say”…instead of “you would say”) and she looks completely uncomfortable. And that makes us uncomfortable as we watch the video. All of this to say that I wasn’t listening to the message because I was so fascinated by the train wreck that was the presentation.

If you are going to work with a coach then ask some questions: Why do you want me to speak faster or slower? How can I get better at presenting and still be myself? Why can’t I use my hands when I speak? (Answer: you must use your hands if you are a ‘hand talker’ — no exceptions)

Be comfortable, be confident, be a better version of yourself not some artificial version of who someone else thinks looks and sounds ‘good’. If it’s not authentic it’s a waste of your time and money.

This link to the video is from CityNews. I tried to get it from her campaign site but it had already been taken down. Like I said, waste of time and money.

http://www.citynews.ca/video/2017/02/27/video-kellie-leitchs-video-on-canadian-values-causes-uproar-on-social-media/

When you say something and then say the word ‘but’ it means “everything I just said I don’t mean. It’s one of the most common communication problems that we encounter every day.

“You are a great employee but we have an issue with you getting your reports in on time.”

“That is a great idea but what we’re looking for is a faster solution.”

“I really love you but…” Everyone has heard that one at some point!

Here’s the solution. Instead of using the word ‘but’, use the word ‘and’. Or, just make two statements.

You are a great employee. One thing to improve your performance would be to get those reports in on time. What can we do to support that? What that does is make a compliment a compliment. It’s not conditional but authentic. Then, acknowledge an issue with performance and see what can be done to support the employee. Maybe things are ‘out of whack’ in the department. Maybe there is a bigger problem that needs attention.

Let’s look at the other examples:

“That is a great idea but…” really means “yeah, yeah let’s just get on with it because that’s not the direction we’re taking”. Try it this way: “That is a great idea. It may take too long to implement. Let’s take a look at a solution that we can get to faster.”

And finally, “I love you and you look amazing in that outfit.”

Don’t give a compliment and then snatch it away before you add your next comment. It’s not kind and it’s not authentic. And, everyone knows what you are doing, so it’s not effective either.